I've written three books, each a part of my journey to elderhood. Now with this blog my intention is to give a moment to moment accounting of my life as it is now, and now, and now. I'm a leader and student of Sensory Awareness, and a practitioner of Rosen Method. I believe in the connective and collective power of Love.
The moon symbolizes enlightenment to Buddhists, and you may have noticed the brightness of this full moon. It was a bright light both in the evening and in the morning.
Yesterday was the Day of Vesak, a day to celebrate Buddha’s birth, enlightenment, and death. Since I was at the ocean last week, I’ve continued to feel the waves in the oceans in me, the continents, the always moving change and flow.
Mark Twain wrote:
I am an old man, and I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
I’m with that this morning, laughing with the twitter-tweeting of birds. I’m eating my first cherries of the season, and yes, my life is a bowl full of cherries as I offer the pits to the yard wondering if one or two will choose to sink into the ground and rise as a tree.
Today I learned from Writer’s Almanac that it’s World Turtle Day and we’re meant to dress either in green or as a turtle. I’m in blue today so I am choosing to be the water that supports turtles and life. Watching the ocean this week allowed me to feel even more fully how we are the ocean and the wave, and how each wave is precious especially as it curves and curls to bow and meet the ground.
Thich Nhat Hanh: Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible. If a grain of corn is not impermanent, it can never be transformed into a stalk of corn. If the stalk were not impermanent, it could never provide us with the ear of corn we eat.
I spent the day with my 18 month old grandson, and then drove over to the ocean to Half Moon Bay for the night. What a gift. The sound of the ocean – the waves – all drops and rolls in trust and ease.
How appropriate are these words by Lynn Ungar for me today..
And you–what of your rushed and useful life? Imagine setting it all down—papers, plans, appointments, everything—leaving only a note: “Gone to the fields to be lovely. Be back when I’m through with blooming.”
In both my book groups we’ve read Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson.
What has most stayed with me is a Black girl’s suggestion for punishment of Adolph Hitler. Let him be Black in the United States.
Years ago, I read Hannah Arendt’s book on the 1961 trial of Adolf Eichman, one of the architects of the Holocaust. She titled the book Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil.
In his introduction to Arendt’s book, Israeli journalist Amos Elon writes:
[Arendt] concluded that Eichmann’s inability to speak coherently in court was connected with his incapacity to think, or to think from another person’s point of view. . . . He personified neither hatred or madness nor an insatiable thirst for blood, but something far worse, the faceless nature of Nazi evil itself . . . aimed at dismantling the human personality of its victims. The Nazis had succeeded in turning the legal order on its head, making the wrong and the malevolent the foundation of a new “righteousness.” In the Third Reich evil lost its distinctive characteristic by which most people had until then recognized it. The Nazis redefined it as a civil norm. . . . Within this upside-down world Eichmann . . . seemed not to have been aware of having done evil.
I sit with that today as I consider these words of Albert Einstein. “Mankind invented the atomic bomb, but no mouse would ever construct a mousetrap.”
Of late,I’ve been blessed to spend time with my grandson. At 18 months old, he is pure joy, an enchanting dance and song as he explores and discovers. The books he “reads” are about community and generosity, empathy and feelings.
As he grows, may the world become more kind and empathetic.
I have mixed feelings on zoos, though I understand it’s a way to teach and study and even help endangered species reproduce. It’s a fun place to be and the children’s playground at the SF Zoo is pure delight. The Sculpture Learning Plaza is a fascinating way to learn.
On Sunday, my grandson, his dad, and I are journeying to Angel Island. Realizing it is grandson’s first sea voyage, I thought I should check out some sea shanties, and came across Fisherman’s Friends. Enjoy!
Yesterday I walked along the marsh with a friend. We saw red-winged blackbirds and egrets. I took no pictures as we were discussing serious subjects, friends dealing with serious health issues and end of life. I came home tired, and went to bed early but then woke at 3:30 from the most amazing dream of strength, beauty, and trust.
I sit here now, and though it’s still dark, I feel the day coming to light, and then, I hear the first gobble and caw, and now the tweets.
Live according to your highest light and more light will be given.
We have a day to honor mothers and one for fathers and yet I sit here today feeling enveloped by my mother who passed away in February 2005. She is here with me, in me, with her sweet smile and desire always for peace.
I used to think she should be stronger in judgment, or what I preferred to call discernment, but now I understand. There is a place of letting go, of gentle strength, the Mr. Rogers type of strength.
I revel in her knowing these words of Nipun Mehta.
Surrender isn’t a sacrifice of the known but rather a celebration of the infinite.
There are many cars on the train we are on, and we can’t see and seam them all at one time but my mother is here.
One of my Mother’s Day gifts was a bottle of perfume from Powell’s bookstore called “Eau de bookstore”.
I’ve missed being in bookstores. Browsing them is one of my favorite things to do and with the pandemic, that was out, so there the books were shut up inside, and I, on the outside looking in.
Of course my house is filled with books but there’s something about a bookstore, the arrangement, exploration, discovery, and excitement that I’ve missed.
Before I opened the bottle, we discussed what the smell would be. Would it be musty or filled with light? I sprayed the scent, and yum. The smell was pure delight.
The blurb says: “The riveting scent of books, with subtle hints of wood and violet, come together in Powell’s by Powell’s. Wherever you are, experience the comfort and nostalgia of Portland’s most iconic bookstore. You won’t be able to put it down.”
It’s true. I inhale and exhale the enchanting smell of wisdom and connection shared over the years!!
I wake and stay in bed listening to a symphony of bird song, twitterings and tweets, caws, and turkey gobbling that percolates through all my cells. It’s morning in May and we celebrate the mothering that connects us all.
This quote from an unknown source comes my way today.
“If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way mom told you to in the beginning.”
Perhaps there’s a way to balance that, or perhaps not, but today I remember all the women in my life, related and not, who’ve enriched, guided, brightened, opened, and paved my way. I’m grateful for celebration and honoring, a day to be with the birthing that continues to transform and unfold.
Yesterday I emailed a friend and the email returned with what augments all her emails.
I offer it here.
Five Vows From Joanna Macy and the Work that Reconnects:
I vow to myself and to each of you:
To commit myself daily to the healing of our world and the welfare of all beings.
To live on Earth more lightly and less violently in the food, products, and energy I consume.
To draw strength and guidance from the living Earth, the ancestors, the future generations, and my brothers and sisters of all species.
To support others in our work for the world and ask for help when I need it.
To pursue a daily practice that clarifies my mind, strengthens my heart, and supports me in observing these vows.”
I sink into the truths of this mothered by the roots, branches, leaves, and fruits of trees.
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