I’ve been honoring the days since my brother’s passing, preparing myself for the 49th day when the Buddhists believe a choice is made by the one departed.

I’m flooded with memories of all we shared and my heart breaks and comes back together over and over again.  It’s like the tides slowly wearing away and piling up sand.

I plan to honor my brother on Saturday, the 49th day.  I prepare.

Today I wash and touch with tender fingers and soft heart a feminine figure he gave to me years ago when I felt a bit stuck. Her lap is a cauldron, a heart, a bowl, a place to hold wishes and incubate desire and need for fulfillment and creativity.  He used it to manifest his art and the next stage of his life. I use it now to manifest what is meant to come. How can I know? I trust that the universe brings me more than I can imagine. I trust what comes to me now.