My brother would have been 66 today. I sit with that. I was three though felt quite mature when my brother came home from the hospital. My dad and I shared fun times as we waited. He washed my hair outside with a hose as I stood in our tiny inflatable swimming pool. It was July in Des Moines, Iowa, and hot and humid. Cleansing outside made sense, but the neighboring mothers were in awe as they saw how my father creatively cared for me. Memories flood in as impermanence waves a multi-colored flag, not the white flag of surrender but a patchwork quilt.
I come to these words by Cheri Huber: Conditioning includes amazingly elaborate systems to keep us from facing the simple fact of life: we are not in control.
We want to believe we have control and I do believe we share connections that allow us to weave and sew a quilt to comfort and nourish our needs.
The world is so rich. When you have an hour and a half, I suggest you watch this. Anna Breytenback speaks at Findhorn about how she communicated with an angry Black Leopard named Diablo who changed when she listened to him and explained that he needed to be named as he truly was: Spirit.