Resilience

A month ago I bought my grandson a book called That’s Good! That’s Bad by Margaret Cuyler and David Catrow.   It’s essentially the “Is That So?” story about the back and forth that happens in our world, and how we meet it.  It’s about perception.

Today we got a call from the physicians that our grandson needed to return to the hospital.  Obviously we united in what I might call “false cheer”.  “Oh, the tales that you’ll tell when you go back to school” etc.  Meanwhile I drove home in tears.  

But then we FaceTimed with him.  He was still in the ER as they waited for a room to open up for him.  He was hooked up to an IV and excited about all the machines.  He bounced up and down to show us how the machine showed his heart rate increasing and decreasing.  With sign language, he signed the whole alphabet for us, and showed us a drawing he did, and explained the complexity.  He shared how excited he is because he gets to go in an ambulance from one part of the hospital to another, and he gets to have an “overnight”.  

Talk about a lesson in perception.  I’ve spent the night in the hospital three times, twice for the birth of my children, and once for a lumpectomy.  I never greeted it as an “overnight”.  I’ve never been in an ambulance but I doubt I would have seen it as an adventure.  These last days dealing with the fear and sadness in the ups and downs of this with my grandson have been a huge lesson for me in how I might meet life now.  For one thing, all that matters is family, friends, connection, and perception.  Everything is so precious, every moment, exchange, breath. I’m precious too. Can I let myself feel that?

I still read the political news which is staggering, and yet surrounding that is the Love we share, the Love that is tangible and matters, and will carry us.  I don’t post photos of my grandchild but I have one here of him strapped in ready to go to the ambulance.  He has a huge grin on his face as he holds a small carton of milk. He’s wearing his Valkyries hat, and his Grinch pajamas because he loves Christmas so much he wears Christmas pajamas all year.  He’s my example of resilience, and how we meet what comes.  Life is an adventure.  Children show us the way. They give us Joy.

Living in the mist that unites tears and laughter in Receptivity, Resilience and Joy!

This Moment

We were all set to go to my six year old grandson’s baseball game when I learned he was sick with a fever.  Okay, but then, other things were happening and his dad took him to the ER.  They responded immediately and an x-ray showed an infection in the soft tissue.  He’s home now resting with a prescription of antibiotics.  We’re hoping they’ll work or it’s back to the ER. 

I sit now with the shift from excitement to worry and concern.  Understatement.    I lit a rose-pink heart candle and visualized my heart as a lotus rising from the mud, opening in unknowing, needing to trust.

Iris named for the Greek Goddess Iris who personified the rainbow and acted as the messenger between heaven and earth. 

Pelican on the rocks in Sausalito

Silence

In Erling Kagge’s book, Silence: In the Age of Noise, he writes of “how it feels good to share a joy”.  He also writes of how words can interfere. 

From the book: 

Early one morning the war hero Claus Helberg, who later became a respected guide in Norway’s mountain region, led a group out from Finsehytta, a Norwegian mountain cabin.

“The summer light was returning, winter had released its hold, and new colours were emerging everywhere. The conditions were fantastic, and instead of commenting on it he began the hike by handing out slips of paper to each of the participants on which was written: “Yes, it is totally amazing.”

When the pandemic began we rarely drove and didn’t drive one of our cars which sat outside. The battery died. When we opened the hood to put in a new battery, we discovered this beautiful nest.

Yes, it is totally amazing!

Holding a Stone

I’m re-reading Erling Kagge’s wonderful book Silence: In the Age of Noise.  I know stones.  As a leader and student of Sensory Awareness, I know how holding a stone or placing in on our body, or passing it to a friend and receiving a stone in return can wake us up.  I feel each stone as individual and unique as each of us.

I resonate to these words of Erling Kagge: 

Americans have built a base even at the South Pole. Scientists and maintenance workers reside there for several months at a time, isolated from the outside world. One year there were ninety-nine residents who celebrated Christmas together at the base. Someone had smuggled in ninety-nine stones and handed out one apiece as Christmas gifts, keeping one for themselves. Nobody had seen stones for months. Some people hadn’t seen stones for over a year. Nothing but ice, snow, and man-made objects. Everyone sat gazing at and feeling their stone. Holding in their hands, feeling its weight, without uttering a word.

Holding a Stone
Stones rest in a bowl shaded by Azalea and Pine

This Moment, Now

I’m struggling with the political news in this country, and yet, yesterday as I sat on my deck and savored my first sip of a fresh cup of coffee, I felt complete happiness and remembered the words of the Dalai Lama who when asked about the happiest or best moment of his life, responded “this moment.” 

When Tara Brach  asked the Dalai Lama his happiest moment, he replied, “this moment is happiness”.  She shares this: On a visit to D.C., the Dalai Lama was asked by a reporter to share about the happiest moment in his life. He paused and then gave a very mischievous look. His response: ‘I think now!'”

This morning as I read the news, I’m carried on the musical composition of three different garbage trucks coming through picking up debris from three different bins: garbage, recycling, and compost.  We are a community. This moment, now!  

This Moment, Now!
Gong – vibration spreading like wings!
Flourish and Flow

Beauty and Art Around Us

On Friday I was at Cornerstone gardens in Sonoma and Saturday at the Las Gallinas Reclamation ponds in San Rafael.  I offer a taste through photos.

Dipping into and expanding with Roses
Laced Hearts
Agave Flower
Ball of Rocks
Metal Goddess in the Garden
Reflecting Pond
Thank you Hispanic workers for our food
Wider View of the Gardens
Mr. and Mrs. Duck in the marsh pond
Swan Landing
Swan in a gentle float

Morning

The crescent moon was bright in the sky this morning.  Squirrels are running up and down the trunk of the redwood tree and bouncing on the branches.  Birds are singing.  A crow plays the windchime.  I sit enchanted.  I’m with the words of Thich Nhat Hanh:

“Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world revolves.”  

And so it is – our reverence and appreciation opening and turning like keys.  

Reaching to meet
Grounding to Rise

It’s Spring!

I’m struck by the flowers blooming along the path into the library. The rise seems so effortless. I’m with these words of Bruce Lee from his book, Be Water, My Friend.

Who is there that can make muddy waters clear?  But if allowed to remain still, it will become clear of itself. Who is there that can secure a state of absolute repose? But keep calm and let time go on, and the state of repose will gradually arrest.

Yellow Iris – like sunshine
Breathe in the freshness and clarity
Among the rocks
Royalty

Butterflies

When I’m outside these days, butterflies are fluttering all about me. It’s springtime, a time to connect.

Saturday, I came upon two Monarchs mating, and stopped to take pictures thinking it would be short-term, but finally exhausted from watching all the fluttering, I left. At home, I read that when monarchs mate, the male uses the claspers on the end of his abdomen to attach to the vaginal groove of the female. Once attached, the female cannot get away, and the male transfers spermatophore components to the female in a process that can take up to 16 hours.

16 hours and without Viagra. Amazing.

Guided by the Season
Movement in Camouflage
This bumper sticker offers another form of camouflage



Above the Fog

Because I’m too old to be an astronaut viewing our fragile, diverse planet from space, I left the fog to drive up to the top of Mt. Tam, and circle through landscapes.  

Looking west into the bank of fog
Looking south as fog begins to dissipate in the climb
Eyes in the Fog
Mount Diablo to the East
The sky begins to clear
Reservoirs to the North