When I came to Sensory Awareness in 1993, and Rosen Method bodywork soon after, I immersed myself in workshops and study. I wanted to understand. I wanted to know everything about the web of life.
I’d touched something trekking in Nepal, and now I was here. What could I learn? Would it ever be enough?
I go through bookcases now, sort through books on psychotherapy, movement, poetry, history, physics, and I discard. I spoke with my meditative son yesterday who is immersed in the study of Buddhism, and he said, “It’s simple. Just notice and be with the breath. Be present with the breath.”
So, again, I go through books to release and open space. I know the exploratory part of my life is over, or at least exploration in the way of the past, so I’m letting go of The Transcendent Function, Jung’s Model of Psychological Growth through Dialogue with the Unconscious, and it’s not to say I’m past being triggered, and dealing with my personal demons, but analysis for me in this moment is at rest. I simply want to meditate with trees, flowers, birds, and the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touch of spring.
Yesterday I listened to the words of a wise man. He said we heal physically from the inside out, and we heal spiritually that way too. I stroke and sit within.
I open Robert Sardello’s book Silence to these words of Cheryl Sanders-Sardello.
Lying in the place, under heaven, the weight of the light coming from the stars pins me to the earth as surely as a butterfly is pinned to a display box.
Lying here in this place, on this spot, affixed yet floating, I submit to the law of silence that seals the earth as love letter and sends it hurtling through space on its mysterious mission.
Lying on the earth, glued to its grassy skin by the sweat of my own body, I obey the weight of silence pressing me closer to the envelope.
Lying in the silence of necessity, I complete the emblematic. Separation is the myth, isolation the unreal. A distinct and utter YES is spoken by this silence that resonates in and around all that I am, permeating everything from atoms to organs, from Adam to resurrection.
Lying silently, Silence silences my incessant questions and bathes them in the soothing stream of silence.
I am cleansed.