I’m feeling a bit shell-shocked.  We are home and sheltered in place.  I understand the purpose and our kitties are happy.  I’m wondering now if this is a plot by our pets. They are clapping their paws together; You mean you won’t leave.  Our dreams have come true. You’ve finally figured it out. We are the most important beings in your life. It’s always been so clear and you didn’t see, but now you do. Always faithful are we, and now together in our home we will be.

But, more seriously, what is this for each of us? I keep reading that this is a pause, a chance to reflect. Yes, and for me, the parameters haven’t sunk in. I’ve crossed out everything on my calendar, and now I sit with what I might do, and of course there’s plenty I can do.   What an opportunity I might think, but instead I feel sad.

I need time to feel and find my way to serenity.  I’m puzzled. What does this mean? When will I see my children and friends? What will happen to people without jobs? How can the economy shut down and people survive? When will this end? Will isolation do the trick?

I understand this is an opportunity to expand our idea of family, but right now I’m scared. 

What happened to the carousel that was my world? How could it come to a halt? I understand it’s up to me to make my world, to feel support, and I will, well, in a few moments, I will. I’m still sliding my feet, using them as brakes, screaming no, this isn’t what I want, and now all my skills are scattered around me like pick-up sticks, and slowly I’ll pick each one up and make a ladder and climb to a wider view.

Yes, in a few moments that’s what I’ll do, but right now I’m in a slump.

Tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day. I’m told we wear green so the leprechauns can’t see us. Wearing green, we blend into the emerald isle.

This year I’m going to wear pink and beckon the leprechauns to come out, and sprinkle leprechaun magic all about. Isolating allows our collective power to spread, and pressure turns carbon to diamond, and in this dance of mindful awareness, we spin new ways to connect and heal.

May this be so, and may we all be well!

A jellyfish waiting in the sand for the tide to carry it back to sea

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