Periodically I return to the image of the grandmother in the movie Parenthood where she talks of life as a roller coaster, the ups and downs, with the point being to enjoy the ride.

The news on Steve was a relief, and again, I jumped into gear, re-merging our living situation, but then I realized we’re still sheltered-in-place, and I’d somehow forgotten the rules on it all.

For a moment or two or three, I felt like a rag doll shaken in the mouth of a puppy. 

While pondering my next step, I had the sense that there are no steps, and for a moment, I was in free fall and then I was caught. I’m here.  

A friend says she’s lighting a candle each day for those who’ve died, so they aren’t just statistics in her body-mind.  I light a candle now for those who’ve passed and those who are left. I light a candle for us all.