Reflecting

Again, it’s dark and gray with rain.  This January offers stillness and reflective time.

I’ve been immersed in Tracy K. Smith’s memoir Ordinary Light.  The book ends with the passing/passage of her mother.  

Lately I’ve felt my mother close though she passed 15 years ago.  Perhaps it’s the birth of my grandchild, her great grandchild that connects the cords.

Tracy ends the book with a poem by Seamus Heaney from his book, The Haw Lantern.  The sonnet sequence called “Clearances” is an elegy for his mother.  It closes with this. 

 

I thought of walking round and round a space

Utterly empty, utterly a source

Where the decked chestnut tree had lost its place

In our front hedge above the wallflowers.

The white chips jumped and jumped and skited high.

I heard the hatchet’s differentiated

Accurate cut, the crack, the sigh

And collapse of what luxuriated 

Through the shocked tips and wreckage of it all.

Deep-planted and long gone, my coeval

Chestnut from a jam jar in a hole,

Its heft and hush become a bright nowhere,

A soul ramifying and forever

Silent, beyond silence listened for 

Compassion

A friend sent me this story a few days ago and today I open it.  It’s “In the Belly of the Whale” by Patricia Hampl, perfect for this day.

I offer a few lessons from it to entice you in though they may seem stark without the story which is the point of stories.  We’re struck inside, touched and entertained as we’re changed.

The lesson begins to come home: at the heart of the refusal of mercy is not cruelty – but fear.

Cruelty belongs, then, to fear, and compassion belongs to justice. It is necessary to learn these relationships, to trace the integuments that bind us to our actions. 

But that’s the point: compassion is not a personal form of enlightened social welfare for everybody else. It is reality, it is how things fit together in the universe. To lack compassion is not merely to lack a human quality – it is to not quite exist, to be missing an essential working part of reality.

Compassion is the acknowledgment of connection, the refusal to see the world as divided into distinct units which can do without each other. It is, literally, a “suffering together with” (com/with + pati/suffer). It is primal union.

And so Dr. King taught, and so today, we remember and stretch to embody his teachings even more as they expand with his death. You can read the story here, as you salivate to digest.

MLK Day!

It’s cold here, for us, and gray, a day to reflect on why this day is set aside to honor one man.

“It really boils down to this: that all life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied together into a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. We are made to live together because of the interrelated structure of reality… Before you finish eating breakfast in the morning, you’ve depended on more than half the world. This is the way our universe is structured, this is its interrelated quality. We aren’t going to have peace on Earth until we recognize the basic fact of the interrelated structure of all reality.“

– Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Laughter

Someone posted this on our Next Door site today. This church is clever with their messages for the day. I’m laughing!!

Life in 49’er territory!

Morning Glow

I love a three day weekend, the pause to reflect.  This weekend offers the Women’s March and the honoring of the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Jr.

I sit with both, with the honoring of dreams and the cost.  Days after Dr. King was assassinated, Congress passed the Civil Rights Act of 1968.  

Now we have an administration that separates children from their parents.  I watch my grandchild and how he interacts, and receives our admiration, love, laughter, and consolation for his tears.  Imagine not having that. Imagine every child on this planet being carried with such love. That is my dream, that each child is carried with love until the little legs straighten and he, she, or they stand on their own.  

The sky was rose-pink again this morning.  The glow moves through me, caresses me, as I stand outside looking up through branches still bare.

May each of us honor this day as fully as movement allows, as broadly as breath spreads, breath carried, shared, and passed among us all.

Morning Light

Looking Up

Ripening Wisdom Shared

In connecting with friends this year, I’m honoring the words of Georgia O’Keefe. “To see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.”

I’m honoring that going through what I’ve accumulated in 70 years of living is a process of seeing, mindfulness, absorbing, reflecting, and choosing what I need now.  In this I feel a deepening in my relationship with my friends, a deeper, clearer look at how we grow and what we share.

Last night I saw Gary Snyder and Jane Hirshfield speak at the Mill Valley library.  300 people had registered and were let in first. Then, about fifty of us waited to see if there was room for us.  Those who had registered but arrived past the 6:45 cut-off time were demanding to be let in. There was intense energy at the front door as Angie Brennan, the head librarian, explained over and over again the rules of access. You would have thought we were trying to get into a rock concert.  Finally room was made for us all though some of us stood.

Jane Hirshfield spoke first, and was wonderful as always, but Gary was a little more of a rambler since I last saw him. He began with remembering back to when he was 7 and came to the MV Library.  He said it hadn’t changed. The beautiful structure, though reinforced, is intact. 

 He then rambled through the decades, sometimes off by one or two, but what’s the difference between the 1950’s and 60’s  when you’re going to be 90 in May. His history is fantastic, and listening to him, I saw why the mandala is such a lovely image for the self, especially as we expand on decades.  With maturity, we are spinning in a circle, never quite sure where the dial will land with what we want to share.

Be patient with we elders, I say to the young.  Our wisdom is run through a blender, and we’re in the process of pureeing the chunks.

Moss outside the library – lush with rain

Imagination

This is a beautiful talk on baking cookies, play, holding a snowball as it melts, and ushering in grief. Love ferociously! Live!

Honor the senses all the way!

Abundance

I woke in the night and rose to meditate.  My life has been busier than I prefer and I could feel the weight in the bone dwelling over my eyes. I stayed with the weight, sensing and touching the seven bones that come together to surround and support the orbit of each eye.  

I knew there were seven but this morning I check their names.  What a list.

  • Frontal bone.
  • Zygomatic bone.
  • Maxillary bone.
  • Sphenoid bone.
  • Ethmoid bone.
  • Palatine bone.
  • Lacrimal bone.

Knowing those bones come together to protect each eye, I sense all that goes on between my ears. I cleanse in the abundance I am, and offer intention for abundance to swell through the world like waves.

There’s more than enough for all.

Reflecting

Rain pounds down and enclosed, I repeat my journey through words that inspire me.

Birdwings

Your grief for what you’ve lost lifts a mirror

up to where you are bravely working.

Expecting the worst, you look, and instead,

here’s the joyful face you’ve been wanting to see.

Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes.

If it were always a fist or always stretched open,

you would be paralysed.

Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding,

the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated

as birdwings.

– Rumi

Be still like a mountain, flow like a river”

~ Lao Tze

At a certain point, you say to the woods, to the sea, to the mountains, the world, Now I am ready. Now I will stop and be wholly attentive. You empty yourself and wait, listening.

– Annie Dillard

Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.

– John Updike

Acceptance

The rain has come again.  This is a moist year.

I read about Bernd Heinrich, a scientist and naturalist who lives in a cabin in Maine and observes those with whom he shares the land and gives them to us in his books.

I choose among his books and order Life Everlasting: The Animal Way of Death.

There can be a richness to the aging process, this continually grateful reception of breath, each inhalation a gift, each exhalation a letting go, and merging with the wider world of which we are part.  

Each day, my intention is to sink more clearly into living as a beginner, as babies do.  

Old and young meet in the center, centered in gratitude, gratitude for living that is always new, as both accept, receive, release, and continue to transform.  

May we all be well in this process of expanding our ability to give and receive.

Looking up through branches, winter bare