Serenity

When I drive to Pt. Reyes I go up over the mountain, down to Stinson, along the Bolinas Lagoon, and this time of year past hills of gold to Pt. Reyes Station, and then out to Inverness.  The bookstore in Pt. Reyes is pure delight.  I brought three books and a Kindle but just in case, three more enter my life:  Wanderers: A History of Women Walking, In Praise of Walking, and The Unwinding and Other Dreamings.  I branched between four books last night even as I was entranced with and embraced in the landscape, the land of the Coast Miwok, the land where the native people welcomed Drake, not knowing what was to come.

Now, early morning, still dark, I warm by a fire and contemplate what we’re seeing from the James Webb telescope.  Perhaps it’s like when people realized the earth went around the sun.  We’re drawn back into time, time as one with now.  Surely this will expand our vision to this communal living we share.

If you held a grain of sand up to the sky at arm’s length, that tiny speck is the size of Webb’s view in this image. Imagine—galaxies galore within a grain …

—NASA Webb Telescope’s Twitter account

Mt. Tam

Bolinas Lagoon at low tide

Looking up through the branches of a serenity tree

Transition

The fog is moving in and out playing games with the sun.  I watch and move within.  

Because people I know are dying, I’m very aware of death, and these last few days I’ve been going over the losses of the years.  Perhaps it’s also  because my mother’s birthday was Saturday and my “baby” brother’s was yesterday that my focus is there.  My mother passed when she was 78 and would have been 95.  My brother would have been 69.

I’m heading out to Inverness for a few nights.  It’s where I process death.  The land is on an earthquake fault and one travels back and forth from one tectonic plate to another.  It’s like playing hopscotch, a chance to pick up stones, and hop from one square to another, journeying a joy, augmented with sorrow, filled path.

Monkey Flower

Respite

The ridge without its wrap of fog

Permeability

I feel stretched by the photos of our universe, remember as a child standing outside feeling the universes within me, and the universes of which I’m part.

I’m up early to water in the fog, the moon, now partial though more than half, shining through.  The days are shorter now and all branches, including us, to reach and utilize the summer light.  I eat plum offerings from the trees.

Edith Wharton wrote: Set wide the window.  Let me drink the day.

I open all my cells to receive, filter, drink, and feast on and with this beautiful new day.

The majesty in stones

Veterinarians

We’ve had four cats between two neighboring homes.  One was put to sleep a few years ago, and our two this spring.  Now today Pele will be put to sleep at 10:30.  She has been the huntress of the four cats.  The other three were mellow and uninterested.  Pele is now 6 pounds and her vet for her 17 years says he no longer has the heart to euthanize pets so they’ll use our vet.  I think of what it is to be a vet.  One enters the field because they love animals, and of course putting an animal to sleep is an act of kindness and love, and yet I see how it would wear one down.

I’m grateful for those who do jobs most of us could not handle.  I think of what it is to go home after a day where that is a part of it, and yet it is essential to relieve our pets of suffering and pain.

I’m grateful for all the joy our furry friends bring to us and grateful for those who help them move on, and I feel sad as we have to let them go. There’s no way around the pain and grief.

Remembering Little Bella

And Mr. Tiger

Inspiration

I watched all three hours of the seventh of the January 6 Committee Hearings.  I was shaking through most of it – riveted and astonished.  

I know most people can’t watch it all, but if you can, watch the four closing statements.  

Mr. Raskin.  

Mrs. Murphy. 

Ms. Cheney. 

Mr. Thompson.  

We’re not out of the woods but their words are a beautiful and promising start. 

Light at the end of the tunnel

Gratitude

I’ll watch the January 6 panel hearings again today as I contemplate photos from far out in space, looking back to near our beginnings.

Yesterday I found myself with gratitude, gratitude that where I live garbage is divided into three bins, garbage, recycling, and compost, and that I still have the energy and strength to pull these three cans on their turning wheels up to the top of my driveway where they’re whisked away.

This morning I’m lifted and grounded on two quotes.  

As to me, I know of nothing else but miracles.

Walt Whitman

It is not happiness that makes us grateful. It’s gratitude that makes us happy.

Br. David Steindl-Rast

Patterns in Wood

A Book to Read

Yesterday I watched Dan Pfeiffer on Zoom.  He was speaking at Book Passage on his book Battling the Big Lie: How Fox, Facebook and the MAGA Media Are Destroying America.   He was very clear that if Democrats don’t work to win the midterm elections, democracy is over.  

One point is to stop talking about Biden as a one-term president.  Pfeiffer listed all the things Biden has done.  Let’s focus there, and then, in April 2023 we can start talking about who might run in 2024.

One key issue is the Supreme Court.  Not only must it be expanded but there must be ethical accountability and a limit to how long each justice serves.  His suggestion is that there are 13 justices and at a certain point, the oldest moves into a group to advise and step in when needed.  They would still be paid but that would allow a new, younger, more up-to-date court to make decisions that align with the wishes of the voters of that time.

We need ethics on the Supreme Court.  We don’t have that now.  That Clarence Thomas won’t recuse himself from a case in which his wife participated says it all.

Georgia O’Keefe said, “I got half-a-dozen paintings from that shattered plate.”

Our country is looking tattered and shattered. What do we do with the pieces? What do we create?

Rocks at Rodeo Beach

Looking Up

Surfers in the waves at Rodeo Beach on Friday

Grace

With the challenges of these days, I now open Mary Oliver’s book Devotions in the morning.  I let it fall open and receive.

Today I open to “Where Does the Temple Begin, Where Does It End”?

“Looking I mean not just standing around, but standing around 

as though with your arms open.”

Just that enough to begin this day, a day where the fog is softly settled in, and squirrels are chirping as they scamper up and down the redwood tree and birds are singing.

She goes on as she does and comes to this: 

“And now I will tell you the truth.

Everything in the world

Comes.

At least, closer.

And, cordially.”

Yesterday, inspired by her invitation to go into nature I went to Hawk Hill and Rodeo Beach.  Clear here, the fog was playing its dance at the Golden Gate of in and out, hide and seek, form and dissipate. I walked and sat, embraced, expanded, entranced.

My mantra continues to be: Be loving awareness, breath blowing through everywhere.  

A bench on which I sit – the wood grained with lived support

Temperature Differences Meet

Rocks rest, receive what comes, open to touch

Today

The weather is exquisite here today and yet I feel that dip toward fall and want to make pumpkin and apple pies.  Perhaps the dip is contemplating the tragedy in Highland Park, a desire for a safe and secure home scented with cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves.  I keep seeing the little boy who lost his parents.  He is the age and look of my grandson. I keep twirling his curls wanting to hold him close.

Where do we put such trauma and pain, such empathy for the pain and suffering of others?  How do we breathe it in and allow it to blow through like clouds, rain, snow?

Anna Quindlin told Villanova’s graduating Class of 2000:

“Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby’s ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness because if you do you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived.”

I center there.  

Looking east from Sausalito

Looking south from our deck – the hills losing their green

The red chest and head of the bird shine bright, a beacon of Joy

How Do We Repair?

A friend suggests we change the name of Independence Day to Interdependence Day.  I like that and wonder how we move toward that recognition when I read Heather Cox Richardson today.  

From HCR today:

Traditionally, Americans have celebrated the Fourth of July with barbecues, picnics, celebrations, and parades as people come together to celebrate our democracy without regard to political party. In Highland Park, Illinois, yesterday morning, a gunman opened fire on a Fourth of July parade with a high-powered rifle, killing 7, physically wounding at least 47 others, and traumatizing countless more. There were more than a dozen other mass shootings over the holiday weekend, as well. All told, mass shootings this weekend caused at least 15 deaths and injured at least 91. 

Police arrested the alleged Highland Park shooter, a white 21-year-old, without incident, inspiring comparisons to the police shooting of 25-year-old Jayland Walker of Akron, Ohio, last week after a stop for a minor traffic violation. Walker fled from the scene in his car and then fled from the car. Officers shot him, saying now they believed he was reaching for a gun. A medical examiner found 60 bullet wounds (not a typo) in Walker’s body, which a medical examiner said was handcuffed when it arrived at the coroner’s office. Walker was unarmed. He was Black.

The unarmed Black man was shot 60 times and then handcuffed.  He was running away, not aiming a gun.  

And what is the punishment for those who shot him?  Until there is accountability, this will continue.

Interdependent, we all suffer with the injustice we continue to see over and over again.   How many tears? How much pain? And why?

Looking Up and Out to Bridge!