Spring

This morning as I meditate, I feel spring in my heart, the opening scent of flowers, the invitation to unreel the layers of the bud, build a nest, fill it with eggs of creativity, and birth what’s here.

Yesterday, Steve and I decided he needed an x-ray of his arm, swollen and bruised from a fall and so we rushed out of the house even before I could grab a Kindle or book. I waited outside of the medical office and meditated and took photos of flowers lining sidewalks and streets.  I realized I was near a library but it closed as I walked up,  so I sat on a bench and sat, and felt, and thought of porches with rocking chairs and benches, and how enclosed life can be with ATM’s and self-checking, and everything delivered and left right at the door.

Because I watched and enjoyed The Wizard of Oz with my grandson this week, I came home and watched Pollyanna.  Okay these movies are fantasies, very colorful fantasies, escapism, and yet, what is it when so much has left technicolor for a darker view of life? Another shooting – oh, my!

How do we balance what we view, and how we involve and evolve with immersion in the flowers blooming everywhere, except perhaps Tahoe which continues to stay white with snow.  Yesterday I appreciated the gift of sitting outside with nothing to do and nowhere to be.  Steve is fine, just swollen and bruised, and I feel the opening call of spring even as I more firmly root.

Robin Wall Kimmerer

Paying attention acknowledges that we have something to learn from intelligences other than our own. Listening, standing witness, creates an openness to the world in which the boundaries between us can dissolve.

Outside my window – oak and redwood twine
Outside the medical center
Along the parking lot
Enchant

May Day

As a child, we made baskets for this day and filled them with candy and flowers, and hung them on our neighbors’ doors. This morning I read that baby swans were just born at the Las Gallinas ponds, so out I head for a May Day celebratory treat.

I’m excited to see a swan.
And then a mother on her nest with four babies. A duck watches nearby.
Active babies
A family of Canadian Geese
An egret – Golden Slippers
Babies exploring
The wind comes up and dad returns. Mom covers the babies.
A Black Crowned Night Heron rests close by

Sausalito

After rain in the night, I rise to go to Sausalito and immerse in the sounds of the bay.  I meet some people who’ve come down from Tahoe.  After a winter of white, they want to see green. We have green, blue, purple, and pink.

Walking down to Swede’s Beach
Looking up the steps anchored in green
View of Angel Island from the beach
View of San Francisco from the waterfront
Angel Island
Another look at Angel Island
In a pocket park
Nearby flowers
The majesty of the Golden Gate Bridge
Lupine blooms on the hills

Visit to the Past

Yesterday we went to Felton to ride the Roaring Camp and Big Trees steam train.  We went last year, and our three year old grandchild was excited to go again, as were we.  What a thrill to go high, high, high into the redwoods and back down to stroll among the trees in Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park.

Music before the train ride in the camp town
Fascination with steam
Going up on the train
At the top of Bear Mountain
Majesty on a path, sacred steps in the park
One of us is a bobcat hiding unseen, somewhat
Bobcat still resting and hiding in his lair
Emergence
Rooted Guides rise high

Spring

Yesterday I was with family, both four-legged and two, at Muir Beach and on the coastal trail between Muir Beach and Tennessee Valley. Some of us walked further than others, and we all indulged in these words of Vincent Van Gogh.

Don’t just look at the spring, touch it, taste it. Get it inside you.

Native Ceanothus in bloom
Iris offers a symphonic note
Hawk looks for lunch
An absorbing stroll along the path
Immersion loves a bridge
Looking south toward San Francisco to view the tucked Mooncow Bay
California Poppies
Cows once grazed here
Now people walk their dogs
Native grasses flourish
From the overlook

Perception

I wake and think I can’t see until I put my contacts in or put glasses on but I actually can see.  The cataract and lens replacement surgery worked, and I’m slowly coming to believe it.  It’s clear when I drive.  I see road signs and lines that were blurs before.  The world is edged with invitations I missed.

Sitting on the couch at home, I realized there is a gap in one tree and I can see through to the ridge, and yet I’m still in a somewhat state of disbelief as it’s become so clear how we create our world and focus.

I’m reading Doris Kearns Goodwin’s book Lyndon Johnson and The American Dream.  It’s a fascinating look at all he accomplished and how influenced he was by his environment, parents and grandparents.  We all are, of course, whether it’s to absorb, or push against, but he did what he did because of it, and then came to an inability to adapt.  This issue of response is often with me.  How do I respond to what comes now and now and now?

My iris plant isn’t yet blooming but I resonate to this poem and how when the flowers emerge I’ll see little vases holding flowers perhaps infinitum like fractals. I’m opening to see life the same way as patterns of curiosity open, close, and merge, like night and day.

This poem is from Billy Collin’s poetry book “Musical Tables”.  

Argument from Design

Six petals on each iris,

every other one

with a small yellow streak,

which resembles a tiny vase, 

holding a few flowers of its own.

Bridging the clouds, water, and ground –

Falling Leaves

On Saturday I was with my three year old grandson and the falling leaves from a Japanese Maple tree.  We stood under the tree as though it was snowing beautiful red leaves upon us, and then he lay down in the leaves and made a Leaf Angel.  

As more leaves fell, I raked them into a huge pile and wrapped them all around him so just his head was out in the air.  The leaves became his racecar and then it was as though he entered a peaceful place, a study in bliss, as did I.

Each of us is being sprinkled right now in the memories of this closing year as we integrate and transform, as we are integrated and transformed with what is present and past.

May we receive with ease.

A rooted rise

Embraced

Wonder and Commitment

I’ve been enjoying time with my three year old grandchild.  Seeing through his eyes and imagination is stimulation, gratitude, and blessing. 

As the political scene deepens, I’m with these words of Nelson Mandela.

It is never my custom to use words lightly. If twenty-seven years in prison have done anything to us, it was to use the silence of solitude to make us understand how precious words are and how real speech is in its impact on the way people live and die.

Neighborhood Block Party

We’ve lived here on a non county maintained road for 45 years.  When we moved in, many of our neighbors had built their homes here at the end of World War II, and were the age of our parents.  The land was sacred; the Coast Miwok had lived and thrived here, and now people who knew war and left it behind, came here to raise their children in the serenity of nature, connection, and peace.

Now, those people have passed on but in some cases, their children, now my age, retain their childhood home.  Last night the neighborhood block party was continued by a son and his wife, and yet the spirits of the parents were there in the generosity of hosting. The set-up was the same, the food, and many of the people, though now older. Where before there were children running around, including ours, now there were only two, though the neighborhood is changing and there are children around.

This seemed a gathering of the elderly though our spirits are young. Maturing gives wisdom and the focus of much of the conversation was on gratitude, gratitude for life and health, for what continues whether we are physically here or not.

One woman spoke of how she and her sister cared for their mother in her home until her death.  She didn’t want Hospice so they administered morphine which was frightening because if they spilled it, their mother would be in pain.  Her mother requested they wash and prepare her body.  The woman said how hard it was and yet she was grateful too.

I haven’t had that experience, and wouldn’t choose to have my children wash my body but I respect the reverence in it, the way of saying goodbye to what the spirit no longer needs and leaves behind.

Several people talked about their chickens.  I didn’t know that hens lay eggs in accordance with the light, and for only 18 months to two years.  In the spring, more roosters hatch than hens, and that reverses in the fall.  There must be a reason for that though I don’t know it. If you want eggs, you want more hens than roosters, though I learned roosters also fill the soup pot. The chicken we buy in the store is young, eight weeks or so, to keep it tender.

We spoke of how we love living here.  For many their children live far away now and so the parents “think” they should move, but the land holds us here. Our roots twine with the hills and critters, and oak, redwood, and bay trees.

We walked home, each carrying a goodie bag, put together by the hosts.  It was all so sweet, and I felt then and I feel now, I’ve been to, and still am, in the reverence of gathering we call church, temple, tepee, tent, flower, tree, mosque.

The fog is in, which may affect today’s flight of the Blue Angels. Tomorrow is Indigenous People’s Day. We honor the past with presence and awareness of integrating change.

Mingyur Rinpoche: Compassion is the spontaneous wisdom of the heart.

The fog coming in yesterday afternoon

A Fiesta

In cleaning out clutter, I’m with Einstein’s formula equating mass and energy.  I’m noticing how light is both particle and wave.  We create the cement.

In the living room of this house is a floor to ceiling wall of books and I have bookcases in two other rooms.  A few years ago, I gave away around 1000 books and though I’ve also given away book shelves, there are still masses of books.  Might I convert the space to energy?

I see the challenge of not perceiving each shelf as a block of books, an organization of beauty  and completeness.  It’s as though they’ve been crammed together for so long, they’ve grown together, bonded, and they don’t want to separate.  I feel like I’m separating flower bulbs, offering them a new place to grow and spread, and I feel resistance.

Since it’s my perception, what am I resisting, and why?  Perhaps I see it as another pulling me forward to death, a comment on my passage.   I feel myself lifting my oars from the water, allowing an evolving transport from river to sea.

I come to these words from Eduardo Galeano, in Walking Words.

The Church says: The body is a sin.

Science says: The body is a machine.

Advertising says: The body is a business.

The body says: I am a fiesta.

With joy in transition, I celebrate the fiesta I am.

Cleaning out will lead to an organization that coheres as I let go.